Life Coach Training
Lesson 12
Getting to “Ah"
One of the most significant roles of a coach or healer is that of a soother or reliever from pain. A Course in Miracles defines healing as “release from fear.” If your client leaves your session feeling less afraid and more peaceful or confident, you have done your job well.
The sound “Ahhhh” is a universal note of relief. When you lie down after a long day, taste delicious food, receive a massage, or hold your lover in your arms, you spontaneously exude this sound of release and homecoming. You will find this same sound hidden like a code in the names of spiritual masters, chants, and uplifting words—for example: God. Yahweh. Jehovah. Jeshua (Aramaic name of Jesus). Rama. Krishna. Buddha. Mohammed. Mama. Papa. Lao-tzu. Shalom. Aloha. Aum. Yoga. Hallelujah. Amen. And the spontaneous expression of discovery, Aha!
If you or your client are struggling with an issue, a helpful approach would be to ask, “What would it take to get to ‘Ah!’?” What would it take for you to feel relaxed, more peaceful, and hopeful about the outcome? People often struggle because they focus more on possible negative outcomes than positive possibilities. Or they are so caught up in the mechanics or complexities of a situation that they overlook the vision that originally inspired them. If you can put your client back in touch with the big picture and soothe them away from their current upset or short-sighted sense of lack, you will attune them to their true power and joy.
Here are some questions you might ask and statements you might make to help your client find needed relief:
Is there any way you have looked at this situation, even for brief moments, that makes you feel more relaxed and trusting, or even hopeful?
What is the best way this could turn out? If you could write the script with a positive outcome, what would it be?
Have you had any situations like this come up before? How did you handle that situation in a way that worked?
Who is your role model or mentor? How would he or she approach this?
What would you be doing differently if you were not afraid?
You may be doing better than you think you are.
I’m sure you will figure this out. You are wise and your intentions are good.
Keep feeling around for where your client’s “Ah” lives until you find it. When you do, you will see obvious signs: his shoulders will drop; her face will lighten; he will spontaneously let out a long deep breath; she will laugh; he will start to talk more about possibilities than roadblocks; tears may come. Or you will sense an energetic shift.
Some healing approaches suggest that a state of tension or exaggerated contrast or conflict leads to improvement. I believe that most people have enough stress, conflict, and contrast in their life to keep them moving along and learning. When they come to a coach or counselor they are seeking relief and positive direction. If you can help them find release from fear, they will feel better, their circumstances will improve, and they will count their time with you well spent.
Exercise:
1. Consider an issue you may be struggling with or something about which you might be afraid. Apply the questions and statements above, repeated below, to your own situation:
Is there any way you have looked at this situation, even for brief moments, that makes you feel more relaxed and trusting, or even hopeful?
What is the best way this could turn out? If you could write the script with a positive outcome, what would it be?
Have you had any situations like this come up before? How did you handle the situation then in a way that worked?
Who is your role model or mentor? How would he or she approach this?
What would you be doing differently if you were not afraid?
You may be doing better than you think you are.
I’m sure you will figure this out. You are smart and your intentions are good.
2. When speaking with friends, family members, colleagues, or clients who may be upset, ask them one or more of the above questions.
Affirm:
I am a soother and a reliever from fear.
My clients feel released and empowered from my interaction with them.