Life Coach Training

Lesson 4

The Power of Presence

      The most basic ― and perhaps the most important ― gift you can offer your coaching clients is your presence. If you have even been with someone in whose presence you felt soothed, loved, cherished, relaxed, and whole, you understand that all forms of healing, including coaching, are based more on an energy transmission than specific words or actions. For that reason, a good coach must cultivate the power of his or her presence, not just in coaching situations, but at all times.

      In our culture, presence in many relationships has been reduced to a trickle. In our fascination with labor-saving devices, mass production, lightning-speed technology, and unprecedented busyness, the human factor is often relegated to a low priority. As a result, people are craving someone to look them in the eye, call them by name, and recognize the thinking, feeling, caring person on the other end of the telephone or behind the keyboard. When you give a coaching client your full attention and presence, you are feeding them in ways they hunger for, and your service is priceless.  (Recommended movie: Being There)

      I used to see a chiropractor who was a good doctor, but he was enamored with his quest to add more and more patients to his practice. As a result, when I went to see him for an office visit, he would rush into the examining room, ask me a question or two, do a quick adjustment, and dart onto his next patient. When he left I still felt hungry for healing.

      One week the primary chiropractor was on vacation, and a substitute doctor treated me. By contrast, this fellow sat down with me, looked me in the eye, touched me, and asked me about the elements of my lifestyle that may have been related to the symptoms I came to him to treat. He spent a significant amount of time with me, and when he left I felt deeply healed. He offered me his full presence.

      At another time I attended a church service at Princeton University, where the spiritual master Sri Chinmoy had been invited to give the sermon. At the appointed time, Sri Chinmoy walked to the lectern, placed his hands in prayer position, closed his eyes, and went into a profound meditation. Twenty minutes later he opened his eyes, bowed, and returned to his seat. That was one of the best sermons I have ever “heard.”

      Today and tomorrow, notice how present you are with the people with whom you interact. Are you really with them, or are you thinking about the next thing you have to do?  Are you interested in what you are doing together, or are you wishing you were elsewhere? If you are a teacher, parent, or coach, are you focusing on the person you are with as if they are the only person in the universe (for the moment), or are you mentally or emotionally trying to juggle the rest of your students, kids, or clients?

      When you meet someone who is fully present, you are changed. I have met a few spiritual masters in whose presence I felt uplifted and inspired to take a new course in my life. You can be that person to your clients.  

      As you dive into fuller presence with your clients, you will discover that what starts out to be gift to them is really a gift to you. The more presence you offer your clients, the more peace and clarity you will feel for yourself. 

      While this introductory lesson may seem simple, it is ultimately the most profound. Whether you are an experienced coach or just beginning to learn coaching skills, this lesson, as well as the others this week, will serve as the platform to make your coaching practice successful and deliver to you and your clients the reward you seek.  .

Exercise:

1.      In what situations and with which people do you feel the most present?

What do you do and how do you feel in these situations that is different from the moments when you are less present?

2.      In what situations and with which people do you feel the least present?

What do you do and how do you feel in these situations that is different from the moments when you are more present?

       3 . (To be done at the end of your day)

            How present were you in your interactions today?

            When were you most present?

            When were you least present?

What did you discover today about the power of presence?

Affirm: 

I offer my presence to everyone I am with.

      I feed my soul by feeding the soul of those I touch.